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Ask a Badass – An advice column answered by history’s hidden women

Confuse-ious, answered by Ahmose Nefertari

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Dear Badass, I’m in love with my best friend’s fiancé, what do I do? Best wishes, Confuse-ious Dear Confuse-ious, Passion is a wild and untamable force, like the shifting Nile or the crocodiles that dwell within its depths. When you are in its grasp, you feel helpless. More helpless, I believe, than you truly are….

World’s Best Grandchild, answered by Mary Bowser

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Dear Badass, Recently I have learned that my grandparents made a pact that they will pass away together by euthanasia. I do not believe that my one grandparent should go, only because the other is ready or ill. How do you suggest I speak to my family about this? Thank you, The World’s Best Grandchild…

Not Enough Hope, answered by Catherine of Siena

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Dear Badass, I am beyond depressed. I spend every day with the taste of despair at the back of my throat.  I love my boyfriend and I’m trying to function for him, but I just want to curl up and sob. Not Enough Hope for a Question Dear Not Enough Hope, To despair is to be…

There’s No Place That’s Home, answered by Sophia Wilhelmina Cupido

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Dear Badass, My parents moved from Manila to a small Midwestern town and had one kid, me.  Our town was small enough that I knew for a fact that we were the only Asian family for miles. Sometimes it was no big deal and sometimes kids were assholes, but the big thing was always being…

Crushing on a High Schooler, answered by Wu Zetian

Wu Zetian

Dear Badass, I really like this guy. We’re totally on the same page and he’s cute as hell. The catch? He’s about to start college and I’m about to finish it. He’s eighteen, so it’s not like illegal or anything. But is it too weird if I ask him out? Crushing on a High Schooler…

Fuming at My Industry, answered by Artemisia Gentileschi

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Dear Badass, I work in entertainment and harassment has just been part of my life since graduating. And not even just harassment, that thing of trying to convince people whose help you desperately need to see you as a human being. Everyone tells us to get mentors, that you won’t succeed without a mentor. Men…

Ambition or Love, answered by Jacoba of Bavaria

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Dear Badass, I love what I do. I’m strategic and I’m a good manager. I’m being mentored by a CEO and I see myself on a straight climb to the C-suite. The thing is, it takes time. And I don’t mean in the “I won’t get there overnight” sense. It takes from the moment I…

Prisoner of the War Between the Sexes (p.2), answered by Uesugi Kenshin

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Dear Badass, I don’t know how to trust men. There just seems to be so much viciousness and violence online and IRL. Dates and friendships just feel like they’re trying to put in enough niceness so I put out and they can bail. Every girl I know has a rule about how long you need…

Prisoner of the War Between the Sexes, answered by Lucy Hicks Anderson

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Dear Badass, I don’t know how to trust men.  There just seems to be so much viciousness and violence online and IRL.  Dates and friendships just feel like they’re trying to put in enough niceness so I put out and they can bail.  Every girl I know has a rule about how long you need…

We Both Know I’m Right, answered by Bet van Beeren

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Dear Badass, My boyfriend is SOOOOO moody. He’ll say he’s fine when we both know he’s pissed. Then three days later, I’ll forget to take out the trash and suddenly he’s telling me everything I’ve done to piss him off since the last fight. That’s not even the worst part. He has the nerve to call ME moody! He says…

Frustrated in Friendzone, answered by Katherine Fowler Philips

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Dear Badass, I’m a 34-year-old guy, and I’m so frustrated at my friend right now. She’s beautiful. She’s smart. She’s funny. She’s amazing. We do everything together, but she’s friendzoned me since day one. I don’t get it. I know I’m a great guy and I know I’m great for her. But she ends up…

Packin’ My Bags, answered by Marguerite Bourgeoys

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Dear Badass It’s time for adventure. I’m 26 years old, and I’m done with my small hometown. I need to get out and see the world, and I’m not just talking about going to New York or Chicago or LA. I want more. I want to sit next to the Seine, drinking cafe and eating…

Not a Show-Off, answered by Nzinga of Ndongo and Matamba

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Dear Badass, So I know there’s bigger stuff happening right now, but I need help with my career. I’m a theater director and I’m at the building stage. I have some theater experience and some life experience, but I’m still at the point where so much of what I have to do is networking and…

Witness to the End, answered by Coya Cura Ocllo

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Dear Badass, I feel like something I believed in is broken, but I don’t know what to do. I’m just sitting here, watching the world end. Am I exaggerating? Am I just being overly dramatic? Are things as bad as I think they are? And if they are, can anything be done? Witness to the…

Orphan with Two Living Parents, answered by Anne Neville

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Dear Badass, It’s taken me a long time to admit it, but my parents basically abandoned me. My dad took off when I was a kid. He’d come back to town every couple of years, but he just can’t seem to stay in one place. I still live in the same city as my mom,…

Stop the World, I REALLY Want to Get Off, answered by Meera Bai

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Dear Badass, What the f*ck is going on in this world? I don’t even know where to begin! It’s seriously f*cking nuts! I’d be more careful with my language, but I think it’s the least of my worries right now. In fact, I’m feeling like that for more and more things. I see a pregnant…

I Swear It’s Not Me, answered by Khutulun

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Dear Badass, Women make no sense to me.  I’m a straight guy and I haven’t had a girlfriend in years.  I’m doing everything you’re supposed to do.  I’m in good shape.  I cultivate my friends and other interests.  I make good money but I’ve gone broke taking women out to dinner and getting nothing in…

What Now?, answered by Joan of Constantinople

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Dear Badass, I know a lot of us are scared right now and a lot of people are facing a bigger threat than me.  I can’t help it though, as a woman online and in the world, I feel so targeted.  There’s just been so much ugly stuff said about women this year and it…

Tongue-Tied, answered by Gudit of Ethiopia

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Dear Badass, I’m a lady who’s about to be applying to graduate school for directing (and I wish more people had that opportunity, but that’s neither here nor there). Essentially, I have to distill my heart, intellect, life goals, vision, and work ethic into three perfectly written pages. I find that I’m always erring on…

No Einstein, answered by Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz

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Dear Badass, I’ve been dating this girl for 6 months, and she’s amazing. We really get each other. We make each other laugh. We’re totally attracted to each other. But she’s smart. Like, really, really smart. To the point where I sometimes get intimidated by her. I’m afraid she’ll get bored with me or hate…